Monday, October 18, 2010

{Life} Day 7 of 30 Truths

Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for.


My brother Shane has made my life worth living. People talk about soul mates in a romantic way, but for me, it’s different. My younger brother, Shane, is absolutely my soul mate. Our souls connect in way, so deep, that I could probably never begin to explain it.

Any time, I have ever felt like giving up or throwing the towel in, I think about Shane. I think about where he’d be, where he’d end up, what would happen to him. I could never leave him. Shane and I always joke that we were twins, but I hogged all the room so he stayed in my mom an extra 3 years, cookin’. We are that much alike. We laugh the same, act the same (bitchy;) ), have the same mannerisms.

So, Shane thank you for making my life worth living. For being my best friend, my man (can we even say that?) of honor, my personal fashion police, my wing man (again..), my partner in crime…my soul mate<3


And, I leave you with our song.

Time, is going by, so much faster than I,
And I'm starting to regret not spending all of it with you.
Now I'm, wondering why, I've kept this bottled inside,
So I'm starting to regret not telling all of it to you.
So if I haven't yet, I've gotta let you know...
You never gonna be alone!
From this moment on, if you ever feel like letting go,
I won't let you fall...
Your never gonna be alone!
I'll hold you 'til the hurt is gone.
And now, as long as I can, I'm holding on with both hands,
'Cause forever I believe that there's nothing I could need but you,
So if I haven't yet, I've gotta let you know...
You've gotta live every single day,
Like it's the only one, what if tomorrow never comes?
Don't let it slip away,
Could be our only one, you know it's only just begun.
Every single day,
Maybe our only one, what if tomorrow never comes?
Tomorrow never comes...
Time, is going by, so much faster than I,
And I'm starting to regret not telling all of this to you.
You never gonna be alone!
From this moment on, if you ever feel like letting go,
I won't let you fall.
When all hope is gone, I know that you can carry on.
We're gonna see the world on,
I'll hold you 'til the hurt is gone.


Remember when we danced to this at my wedding...I love you.

{Life} Day 6 of 30 Truths

Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.

I hope I never have to bury my immediate family. I know it may one day be inevitable, as the world works, it is natural for children to bury their parents, but honestly, the thought makes me really sad. And I really desperately hope to never have to bury either one of my brothers. I’d rather go with ‘em…

{Life} Today

Today sucks.

Here I am on
The phone again and
Awkward silence is
On the other end

I used to know
The sound of a smile
In your voice
But right now
All I feel
Is the pain of the fighting
Starting up again

All the things we talk about
You know they stay on my mind (on my mind)
All the things we laugh about
They'll bring us through it every time (after time, after time)

Don't say a word
I know you feel the same
Just give me a sign
Say anything, say anything
Please don't walk away
I know you want to stay
Just give me a sign
Say anything, say anything

Some say that
Time changes
Best friends can
Become strangers
But I don't want that
No not for you
If you just stay with me
We can make it through

So here we are again
Same old arguement
And now I'm wondering
If things'll ever change, yeah

When will you laugh again?
Laugh like you did back when
We made noise till 3 am
And the neighbors would complain

All the things we talk about
You know they stay on my mind (on my mind)
All the things we laugh about
They'll bring us through it every time (after time, after time)

Don't say a word
I know you feel the same
Just give me a sign
Say anything, say anything
Please don't walk away
I know you want to stay
Just give me a sign
Say anything, say anything


Thursday, October 14, 2010

{Life} Day 5 of 30 Truths

Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life.

I hope to one day become a mother. I have always felt like I was destined to be a mother. To nurture and feel a little human being growing inside of me, would mean more to me then anything in the world.

I know when the time is right, and the stars align, it will happen for me. Until then, I will cautiously pick out nursery furniture ;).

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

{Life} Day 4 of 30 Truths

Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for.

Without going in too much detail (because I'm not ready yet, and I can't force myself to be ready for the sake of this blog), I'm going to forgive a man in my past for being inappropriate towards me. I am going to forgive him not for him, but for me. So that I can breathe easy, and begin to move on. I am no longer going to wallow in it. I cannot let it shape me, be the reason why I do things, or control my life. I am going to forgive him, a little now, and a little more down the road. All I know is I do have to forgive him if I want a chance to be happy, and right now, with all my new beginnings, I really feel like I deserve that.

{Fashion} Outfit of the Day


I originally started this blog to do OOTD's but then quickly realized a few things..a)I had no one to take pictures of me b) I only had the camera on my blackberry which is not of good quality..and c) my outfits..aren't that great. Oh well! Here is my first OOTD..FINALLY!



Tank-Old Navy ribbed tank with lace trim
Cardi-Old Navy Rosette Cardi in heather grey
Belt-Leila Rowe
Skirt-Express circa 2006! Black, dark & light grey pattern (cannot see the pattern in this picture)
Shoes-Avenue Cloud walkers, LOVE these..so comfortable.
Earrings-Swarovski crystal balls

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

{Life} Day 3 of 30 Truths

So, while today is, ohhh day 5 in actuality, not having a computer at home has been a teeny tiny bump in the road. Oh well, at least I've gotten this far, no?

Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for

I have decided (right now) that I am going to forgive myself for my failed marriage. I have gone over every scenario and every situation of the last five years, wondering where I went wrong, or what I could've (should've?) done different. I come to the same conclusion every time-although I played a role in the demise of my marriage, it was inevitable from day one.

No matter what I did, or didn't do for that matter, my marriage was doomed. I missed all the signs. Ok, ok, I didn't miss the signs...I ignored them. But this is about forgiving myself right? If I go through every situation again and again in my head, until I literally go insane, I will still end up in the same place as I am now. Nothing I say, do or don't do will change the outcome. And I am finally okay with that.

I need to forgive myself for putting my safety at risk. I need to forgive myself for hiding my voice, in order to let another be heard. I need to forgive myself for not loving myself, and for not putting myself first. I need to forgive myself for not respecting myself. For putting someone else's needs before my own. Above all, I need to forgive my self for the whole damned thing, in order to not feel ashamed, or feel like I need to rock a scarlet letter.

It's going to be a long road, a road full of tears, and 'why?''s, and many, many turns. I am really going to work on forgiving myself while making changes in myself so that I don't make the same mistakes again.